Adjust Your Tone Knob

Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 15:4

EVER HEAR THE PHRASE, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”? It’s true to a certain degree. Too often our tongue and our tone are out of sync with each other. We may praise our kids with a disinterested tone or tell our wife “yes” when our volume says “no.” How we say what we say matters a lot.

Jesus warns about this when He says in Matthew 5:37, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” He knows that truthful speech ultimately comes from the heart, not just the lips. And when the heart’s motives and the tongue’s words don’t match up, the result can be speech that harms, maims, even crushes others.

So how can you develop a tongue that heals? It takes ruthless self-examination to adjust your tone. Memorize verses about the tongue. (Proverbs is full of them.) Find stopping points in your day to pause for thirty seconds, asking God to show you how your tongue and heart are incongruent. Confess any ways you’ve broken another’s spirit with your speech.

One man, eager to shed himself of his hurtful speech, was held accountable by a friend. He paid his friend five dollars for every word he used that hurt someone. After writing a couple of checks, his speech cleared up pretty quickly. The point is, do whatever it takes. And start by asking God to help you.

BOTTOM LINE

A “tree of life” tongue will bear sweet fruit for the future.

Moment of Strength: James 3:3-12