Tongue-tied

Tongue-Tied

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 26:20

I’m in the midst of an intentional, ongoing effort to be the person who lets gossip die rather than passing it on.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the big stuff that trips me up. I hold on to secrets and confidences without any problem. It’s the little things—the stuff that seems harmless, meaningless—that I catch myself passing on without a thought. While I’ve never thought of myself as a stereotypical gossip, it’s surprising how tempting it is to pass on that little morsel of interesting information I learned in the break room, in the church lobby, or while chatting with girlfriends, especially when others are doing the same. It’s a trap that I trip into suddenly and unexpectedly, and, more often than not, even as the words cross my lips I start wishing that I could reach out and grab them and stuff them back in.

My goal is this: what I hear or see going on around me doesn’t get repeated if it isn’t kind or necessary. (Please don’t misunderstand: anything that endangers bodies, minds, or spirits must be exposed and stopped.) I’m not perfect, and I’ve discovered that this effort to curb my unruly tongue is a journey, not a destination. But my determination not to gossip, even in the small things, has helped me zip my lips and lift my fingers away from the send button on more than one occasion. As time has passed, I find it increasingly easier to curb my tongue.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone else is to refuse to participate in a behind-their-back discussion of their character or their life. As the verse in Proverbs states, removing the fuel puts the fire out. So often, it takes only one person to gently steer the conversation away from gossip and on to a more productive topic.

—Julie

— Today’s Act of Kindness —

For the next week, refuse to pass on comments that are neither necessary nor kind. See if you’re not less tempted to gossip as you build your strength in biting your tongue.