Looking Behind The Hurt

Looking behind the Hurt

Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.

Matthew 10:16

I’ve heard it said before that hurt people hurt people. While that adage doesn’t justify the behavior, remembering it shifts my perspective from the behavior itself to the why behind the behavior. When I see the human being behind the action, I can better think through what my response ought to be instead of responding with hurtful words or actions of my own.

I couldn’t help but reevaluate this perspective after my daughter, a small girl with a fierce sense of justice, witnessed a wrongdoing on the playground during recess and stood up to the perpetrator. Later that day, the perpetrator got even by shoving her into a set of lockers. I later learned that this particular student has a propensity for violence and is outside of the standard classroom for a good portion of the day, and I couldn’t stop the fear that snaked through my heart.

What do we teach our children at these moments? The world is filled with potentially dangerous people whose actions physically hurt others. Do we look away from injustice in these circumstances? Do we respond to violence with violence of our own? These were the thoughts that rolled around in my head as I tossed and turned during the early morning hours, praying about my daughter’s situation.

While individual circumstances will require different responses, my wrestling eventually reminded me that Jesus intentionally sent us out as sheep among wolves with the admonition that we are to be as shrewd as snakes and as harmless as doves. This guidance applies to every person or experience we have in our lives.

That is the biblical wisdom I shared with my daughter as she navigated the situation with this student, knowing that later it would impact the way she navigates the world. I warned her to be wise and aware and smart about when and how she engages (or chooses not to engage) but to always remember that there is very likely a hurting person behind hurtful actions. We can show compassion without condoning wrong behavior. Looking for the hurt underneath someone’s words or actions often gives us a different perspective on a situation, enabling us to respond with divine discernment.

—Julie

— Today’s Act of Kindness —

Practice being wise and gentle in your interactions, even when someone hurts you.