Listening Well

Listening Well

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

James 1:19

“How’s the nannying job going?” I asked Savannah, a young friend who feels more like a daughter to Tim and me, one day after work.

“Great!” she said. “I really like the kids. The mom is nice too.” Hesitating a little, she added, “I feel bad for the daughter, though. Last week, she was talking on and on and her mom finally said, ‘I’m sorry, I’m just not listening to you.’ That would be hard for me to hear. The daughter talks to me all day long too, but she seems so happy about it. I feel bad that the mom doesn’t listen, so I do.”

I couldn’t help but agree. I remember how when I was growing up, my own mom would listen to whatever my sisters and I had to say. We could prattle on and on about the kids at school or their parents, and we’d always know that she would listen intently and wouldn’t gossip about what we told her or go running to talk to the other parents about it. She listened well, and we knew we could trust her to keep a confidence.

James admonishes us to be quick to listen, and sometimes, listening is all that’s required to be kind. It can be easy to get sidetracked by our smartphones, the TV, or our own interests. Life can get so busy that we feel unequal to the task of getting dinner on the table and helping kids finish homework, much less taking the time to really listen to them. Yet we underestimate the value of something as simple as attention and what it conveys to another person: You matter to me, and the things you care about matter to me as well. Who in your life do you tune out or give noncommittal, one-word responses to? Who needs the benefit of your kind, listening attention?

—Kristin

— Today’s Act of Kindness —

Practice the art of listening well by giving someone the kindness of your undivided attention.