Trying My Best

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.

“Thanks, Mom, for always being there and trying your best.”

My daughter’s note caught me momentarily off guard before I smiled, grateful that she and I are on the same page. It’s not easy being the first-time mother of a teenager, and it’s not easy being the oldest child and the first teenager in the house—the one who paves the way, the one who always bears the brunt of her mother’s first attempts to parent through a new season or circumstance.

Lizzie—as my oldest child—is my parenting guinea pig. As she grows up, encountering new situations, new decisions, and new opportunities, I’m along for the ride, new in my parenting through each of those same circumstances.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and she and I agree that sometimes I get a gold star on the first try and sometimes I fall short and need a second, third, or more attempts before I land on the right balance between giving her increasing freedom and keeping her emotionally, physically, and spiritually safe.

What she does know is this: (1) I’m trying my best, and (2) I love her unconditionally. After a difficult parenting interaction, I whisper these two foundational truths in her ear as I hug her tight, even when I’ve had to apologize for missing the mark on what she needed in that moment versus what I thought she needed.

Intimate relationships involving close friendships, spouses, parents, and children require hard, committed work. Reminding our loved ones of how much we love them and that we are doing the best we can—even as we navigate our own insecurities and shortcomings—challenges us to do better next time, reminds us to assume the best of one another, and helps keep us connected, even when we disagree.

It’s important to understand that the shortcut phrase “trying my best” isn’t an excuse to ignore improving in areas where we repeatedly fall short. It’s an acknowledgment of being a work in progress and committing both to improvement and to having grace for our loved ones—as they, in turn commit to a reciprocated grace and acknowledge that they, too, are a work in progress.

Julie

Today’s Act of Gratitude

What shortcut phrase(s) can you use with a loved one that acknowledges love, commitment to growth, and grace over missteps?