Speaking Truth In Love

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

A friend told me recently that her daughter had come to her one day, feeling bad about a situation at school. A young man had expressed interest in her beyond friendship, and although flattered, she politely let him know that she wasn’t attracted to him romantically.

A few days later, he showed up at school with a gift for her. The girl again politely declined his advances, to the dismay of several of her classmates. Other girls told her that she should have been nice and just accepted the gift. She explained to my friend, “I felt bad, Mom. I had already told him that I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to accept his gift. I don’t think that would have been right.”

My friend agreed with her daughter. “You did the right thing, honey. You set a boundary in a kind but clear way, and he didn’t listen. You weren’t wrong to politely decline his gift.”

They went on to talk about how she could still be kind and friendly to him, even after this incident. She told her mom that some of the other kids said he was embarrassed, but she went on to treat him just as she always had, and they were able to move past the situation.

We hear a lot in Christian circles about speaking the truth in love. But what does that actually look like? It looks like always leading with love while also being honest. It doesn’t look like snide remarks, anger, or put-downs. It esteems the person while also truthfully addressing a situation. And when done well, the person should leave still feeling valued and loved.

It’s not an easy balance to achieve consistently, and sometimes we may not do it perfectly, but I’m grateful that Jesus set an example for us to follow.

Kendra

Today’s Act of Gratitude

Who is someone that has spoken the truth in love to you? Let them know you appreciate their honesty and authenticity in your life.