Remembering Those We’ve Lost

The memory of the righteous is a blessing.

Sometimes, I daydream about what my sister would be like if she were still alive today. Whether or not she would still have the interior design business she planned to start. What other creative endeavors she might have pursued over the years. How her love of traveling, hospitality, and serving others would have looked over time. If she would still love drinking mochas or watching Gilmore Girls. What she would think of my husband and kids, whom she never got to meet.

Although she died more than fifteen years ago, she’s still part of who I am. And one of the greatest gifts I’ve received over the years has been the instances in which friends have reminded me of her or said something to let me know that she’s not forgotten.

Like when a friend and I were shopping together and she asked me what Katrina would think of the items we were considering.

Or when a friend texted me to say that even though she’d never met my sister, she missed her with me.

Or the nurse who told me, years after my sister had passed, that she was still remembered by the other nurses at the hospital.

Sometimes people think that they are being merciful when they don’t bring up the loss of our loved one, when the truth is, many of us welcome the opportunity to talk about those we’ve lost. Our greatest fear is not that we will feel renewed pain at the reminder, but that our loved one will be forgotten.

The Bible tells us that the memories of those who have passed are a blessing. I’m grateful each time someone tells me how much Katrina meant to them or how her story of faith impacted them positively. Those little comments always help me feel less alone in my grief. When we give someone the space and grace to reminisce about their loved one, we remind them that they aren’t alone. In Jesus, we have the hope of more (see 1 Thessalonians 4:13). But while we wait, we can choose to celebrate and thereby honor the memory of those we continue to love after loss.

Kristin

Today’s Act of Gratitude

Reach out to someone whose loved one has passed. Tell them how much that person meant to you.