Words For An Aching Heart

Words for an Aching Heart

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

I failed my first on-the-road driver’s test. In fact, I made so many mistakes that by the time I narrowly avoided an oncoming ambulance, sirens blaring, that encounter was “the icing on the cake of my failure”—or so the instructor sniffed as he proceeded to fail me in a spectacularly cutting fashion.

Leaving the test center, I was in tears as I reached my mom’s car. She took pity on me and offered to let me pick up my textbooks at school and return home afterward.

Back at school, the hallways were hushed, students busy in their classrooms with the exception of a few who loitered at the tables in the front entrance area. Although I tried to duck away from attention, my splotchy face was noticed by a boy I had dated briefly, an upperclassman who had a break during that hour. He walked me to my locker to see what was wrong, and when I told him, he doubled over with laughter—great, gasping whoops of laughter.

The shame I felt in that moment? That was the true icing on the cake of my failure. I wanted to cry all over again, and I escaped as quickly as I could.

Looking back, it was silly to cry over something as trivial as a driver’s test. But in that moment of vulnerability, this boy’s lack of empathy taught me a valuable lesson: I never want to make someone feel as bad as I felt then. The words we say bring life or death to the hearer’s spirit, and what we choose to speak will resonate in someone’s heart long after the conversation ends.

Now, when my children come to me with a trivial problem in school, I try to make them feel heard and important. When a friend tells me about a heart that’s aching, I hold that in confidence. Because our vulnerability is what makes us human, and a true friend will never trivialize that.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

The next time someone comes to you with something you consider trivial, don’t dismiss it. Instead, show the person that you value their vulnerability.