When You’re On The Fringe

When You’re on the Fringe

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Paging through the contents of my daughter’s pink school folder, I glanced at a drawing, then paused for a longer perusal. The title at the top read “My Wishes.” Underneath, she had drawn several cartoonlike figures depicting herself and the various things she wished were true.

“Be popular,” was the caption of the second wish, and my heart sank a little when I read it.

“Honey, why do you want to be popular?” I asked.

She hesitated briefly, then said, “Because I feel lonely at school.”

My heart ached as she explained that no one was mean to her; they simply had friends they preferred and played with, so she was often left out. We talked about what healthy friendships looked like, some ideas for reaching out to friendly faces at school, and how being popular doesn’t always mean having deep friendships.

But later, lying sleepless in bed, my heart worried over the topic. My husband and I have spent time talking to our children about noticing those on the fringes and inviting them in. But what happens when we’re the one on the fringe? I wonder if my daughter’s desire to be popular isn’t one we all secretly have. Don’t we all want to be liked? Admired? In community with others?

In the days that followed, I leaned in even more than usual, spending time with my sweet girl. When she came home with a bracelet that a friend from another class had made for her, I smiled and cheered a little. When she told me how a girl in her class played with her in gym, I squeezed her tightly. In the same way my daughters bring their worries to me, the Bible reminds us to give all our concerns to God, our Father. As a mom, I can’t fix everything for my child. But I can pray with and for her to find a good friend. I can help foster friendships that are blossoming. I can be by my child’s side as she navigates the uncertainty this life brings. And I can always direct her to God, who knows her needs and cares for her.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Reach out to someone who you think may feel left out or isolated and could use a friend.