The Sixth Love Language

The Sixth Love Language

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

I have a freezer full of homemade Chinese dumplings. Why? Because Carmen knows my children love the dumplings she and her mom make, and so they made and froze dozens of dumplings for my children before they returned home to China. I can’t make authentic dumplings, and the versions in the store or at any of our restaurants in the US can’t even begin to compare to the real thing—so this treasured gift of friendship is an extraordinary culinary delight in its own right that had my children jumping for joy.

Aaron and I have discovered that hosting a potluck and asking people to bring a favorite family dish provides a safe way to explore someone else’s culture, and it is the perfect way to ask them to share parts of their stories as we grow in friendship. There is something powerful about sharing a favorite, culturally important food—it shrinks the differences between people as commonalities are discovered and highlighted. Discussing the ingredients of a particularly yummy dish soon turns into sharing stories about the version Great-Grandma made, about where the dish came from originally and then—suddenly—you are laughing and talking about something entirely different with someone who is no longer a stranger to you.

We’ve hosted football game “dip nights” in which our local central Minnesota families bring all the cheesy and creamy dips we’re known for to the culinary surprise and delight of our visiting Chinese interns. We’ve hosted pancake feasts for the young Somali men Aaron plays soccer with so they can watch their favorite soccer teams on the basement TV on a full stomach. And we’ve laughed until our sides hurt as we’ve stood in my kitchen making lopsided dumplings alongside Carmen, in celebration of the Chinese Spring Festival.

Inviting others into your family’s food traditions and expressing interest in trying theirs is one of the easiest ways to grow friendships as you bring people together in harmony and learn parts of their story. It’s our favorite way to intentionally build community among people being introduced to one another for the first time.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Plan a food-themed dinner party that will bridge gaps and get your guests talking.