The Love Found In Mentorship

The Love Found in Mentorship

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

In the hypercompetitive world of parenting one-upmanship, my friend Mardi is a breath of fresh air. Her daughter is a confident, accomplished young woman a few years ahead of my Lizzie, and I find myself patterning my own parenting after Mardi’s.

Mardi is a wealth of information and encouragement, letting me know about hidden land mines in the years ahead of me, telling me honestly about what worked or didn’t, and giving me a glimpse into the good and the hard parts of her own parenting. I treasure my friendship with Mardi apart from our conversations around parenting, but because my values align with hers, and because our daughters share similar personalities, I especially appreciate her willingness to share what she has learned in that realm. And, in turn, I’ve been able to share honestly and vulnerably about my parenting journey as my children enter middle school, asking questions and seeking her advice as I strive to strike the right balance.

The gift of mentoring is invaluable. Taking the time and energy to share wisdom, so that the woman coming along a step behind you might avoid even one mistake you made, is the very definition of generosity—it is allowing others to learn from the prices you have already paid, without requiring a price of their own. It is loving others enough to spare them heartache and regret rather than secretly hope they get caught in the same traps you either got caught in or narrowly avoided.

It’s easy to say we love others, but if our actions don’t match our words, aren’t we just pretending? Love requires action, and guiding someone else through a new experience, through a hard season, through the application of new knowledge helps them grasp what is good while avoiding choices that might harm them.

Mentoring can focus on anything: a career, parenthood, marriage, a hobby, a skill set. It can span any age: someone younger can mentor someone older. I’ve found that co-mentoring can be an especially sweet arrangement—with each person bringing their own strengths to the relationship and both walking away stronger for the shared knowledge.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Consider who you could mentor and who might be willing to mentor you.