The Bully In The Mirror

The Bully in the Mirror

Since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory.

Be nice to my friend; I love her. My text message zinged off in response to my sweet friend’s lament early one morning. She was frustrated, berating herself for grieving the loss of a pregnancy, determined that she should be “over it,” and wanting desperately to feel only happiness for her pregnant friends instead of this mixed-up mess of simultaneous grief and joy.

She is a woman filled to the tippy-top with mercy and grace for those around her, and yet, on this hard morning, the voices in her head were unrelentingly cruel. I gently reminded her that life is almost always a kaleidoscope of grief, joy, fear, courage, and everything in between, and that there is no shame in quietly mourning while also outwardly celebrating.

My friend is not alone in allowing her inner voice to speak with viciousness. Every woman I’ve ever met, if she’s had a chance to sit and quietly share her life’s story, has confessed her inner bully.

That is not what Jesus has for us. We are not called to secret self-loathing. We are coheirs with Christ. We are the adopted children of God. When we trip up, the Holy Spirit offers gentle conviction, not shame and self-hatred. We must learn to recognize the difference so that when faced with our shortcomings, we are encouraged to do better instead of berating ourselves into exhausted defeat.

Words are powerful, especially the ones we speak over ourselves. When you see that girl in the mirror, extend to her the same grace you extend to your best friend, gently holding her accountable to change the things she needs to change and encouraging her to become the woman her Savior is calling her to be. Jesus loves that girl in the mirror so much that he willingly laid down his life for her. We don’t get to bully the girl Jesus loves.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Every time your inner bully starts in with her cruel, snide remarks, speak God’s Word out loud and meditate on what it means to be a child of God and coheir with Christ. If a friend is struggling, encourage her in this as well.