Redefining Friendship

Redefining Friendship

The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

When my children started day care, I first encountered the casual use of the word “friend,” and as my children grew, the trend continued. Early elementary teachers, staff, and other parents referred to classmates as “friends,” and while my kids were too young to grasp the distinction between a friend and a classmate, the use of the two words interchangeably made me slightly uncomfortable.

As my children grow into young adulthood, Aaron and I are intentionally redefining the word “friend” for them. Their classmate relationships are built on proximity, and there is a large range of interests, perspectives, and personalities in their classrooms. While we teach that everyone is to be treated with respect and kindness, it is also important to accurately distinguish friend relationships from other types of relationships with the people in our life circles.

Our American culture has diluted the word “friend” by extending it to far too many relationships, and it creates confusion about what being a friend actually entails. We are in varying degrees of relationship with people in our lives based upon proximity, commonalities, and intersecting interests, and we sometimes forget that we can live peacefully and respectfully among others outside of a friendship relationship. I hold to the definition of friend (a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts according to the American Heritage Dictionary).

Scripture teaches us that we should invest in godly friends who give wise advice. Who is it we are listening to? Do they have our best interests in mind? Do we seek the advice of people who love us and point us back to Jesus? Rather than listen to poison being peddled by rabble-rousers—those who love to stir up drama—let’s seek counsel from those in close friendships with us. We must carefully consider to whom we are turning for advice.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Make a list of those you allow to advise you and take that list to God. Who might you need to remove or add? Ask God to refine the kind of advice you give to others—always pointing them back to God, not leading them astray.