No Tearing Down

No Tearing Down

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

When I was a child, I had a conversation with my dad about friendship. I was telling him about a friend of mine at school who wasn’t always nice to me and would sometimes tease me in front of others. My friend thought this was funny, when really it was just hurtful.

My dad listened and then told me about his good friend George. Even though he and George were very different, they had a shared understanding that they would never make fun of one another for their faults or shortcomings and that they would always be respectful of one another.

“Sometimes even adults use humor in a way that puts someone else down instead of building them up,” my dad told me. “I decided when I was still young that I didn’t want to be that kind of friend, because a good friend shouldn’t cut you down.” He shared honestly, telling me about a few times when people’s supposed humor had been at his expense and it was hurtful to him. He advised me to talk to my friend about what he was doing and how it made me feel.

The wisdom my dad shared with me as a child has had a profound impact on the friendships I’ve developed both then and even now as an adult. I still think about that conversation and my dad’s healthy view of friendship and realize his advice is just as valuable today as it was back then. When I hear people around me saying things to put others down or to compete in unhealthy ways, I recognize these aren’t the things I want to define my friendships. Rather, I want everything I say to be good, helpful, and encouraging in order to build strong and lasting friendships. That is the very definition of what makes a good friend. Let’s work to build one another up, not tear each other down.

— Kendra

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Use your words to encourage and uplift a friend.