Newbies Need Friends

Newbies Need Friends

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.

A gentle knock on my office door had me smiling as Hassan hovered in my doorway, coffee cup in hand. He has spent a few minutes each day lingering just inside my door for months now, checking in on the new girl hired to teach a business law class in his department at a small liberal arts college.

Navigating my new role as adjunct faculty has been challenging. The phone system is a mystery. The copy machine requires a NASA-level education to operate. I don’t know where the forms live in the byzantine internal computer system. And my first test had my students in a near panic because it was far too long and far too hard.

Hassan’s routine check-ins are an answered prayer. I’ve peppered him with technical questions about how he runs his class, questions about small, mundane administrative tasks everyone else has absorbed as institutional knowledge, and slightly philosophical questions about how to be an instructor who teaches with mercy, encouragement, and high standards. In addition to shop talk, I’ve gleaned small pieces of information about him as we’ve chatted about children and families, about the communities we live in, about a new course he is developing. It’s a tendril of friendship in a position that I’m learning can feel solitary much of the time.

It’s easy to forget how hard it is to be the new person. Transitions—to a new school for your children, a new church, a new job, a new community—require patience as we figure out new systems, different procedures, and even unfamiliar subcultures. Having someone who takes the time to check in on a regular basis is such a blessing—it invites the asking of “silly” questions (those we feel a bit sheepish to ask), allows an easy transfer of information about all sorts of little details, and builds community and a sense of belonging around the newbie. Reaching out in regular and sustained welcome is the epitome of our role as God’s servant—patient, kind, and willing to show the new girl the ropes.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Find a newbie at your job, in your neighborhood, or in your church, and check in with them, offering to answer questions and simply making them feel welcome.