Listening Well

Listening Well

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Tears streaming down, I confessed that I had run ahead of God, had assumed I knew the plan, and now was watching as my best intentions resulted in chaos and failure.

My friend’s response? A comfortable silence followed by a quiet, “Ouch.” No attempt to smooth it over or to minimize the collateral damage my foolishness had wrought, just nonjudgmental companionship and a listening ear as I poured out the story.

There is something immeasurably valuable in the simple act of listening, something powerfully therapeutic in the gift of uninterrupted space to think out loud. My friend let me confess my mistakes without smoothing them over, without trying to minimize my actions. Her attentive listening gave me a safe space to reconsider exactly where I went astray, pinpointing the critical moment in which I publicly announced I trusted God in a situation while having a secret backup plan in reserve.

Having identified my need for control as the root cause of this particular disaster, we discussed God’s character—his goodness, but also his tendency to accomplish his will in nonlinear, unpredictable ways so that we remember, always, that he is in control, and we are not. God does not share control, and that’s sometimes a lesson I have to relearn the hard way.

As we parted ways, both having shed a few tears and having prayed over one another, I felt remorse but also hope, knowing where and why I’d stumbled, but having been put right with God and ready to get back to work. We desperately need spiritual brothers and sisters who will listen to our confessions and will prayerfully point us back to God, always.

— Julie

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Practice being a listener instead of a problem solver. Give other women the gift of time to process their hard things aloud, gently pointing them to God in prayer instead of attempting to fix their situation.