Forgive An Offense

Forgive an Offense

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

At least once a day, my youngest daughter tells me I’m not her friend. Although she is usually cheerful and easygoing, like most four-year-olds, she doesn’t like to be told no. It usually happens after I tell her she can’t have any more afternoon snacks or that it’s time to stop playing with Barbies so we can leave for preschool. Although I patiently tell her that words have power and what she said was hurtful, internally, I brush it off. I know she’s at a developmental stage where she wants more control in her life, and the words she speaks are one of the ways she tries to assert that control.

If I’m honest, we live in a world where it’s easier than ever to decide that someone is no longer our friend. If someone shares too many political posts on their social media or sends us one too many messages about a product they’re selling, we’ll likely unfollow or unfriend them. In real life, we might decide it’s easier to screen their calls or stop returning them, or perhaps even stop attending the same gym, group, or church. In that sense, my four-year-old is a lot more honest about her feelings than many adults.

In a world of imperfect people, conflict is unavoidable. Yet admitting we got our feelings hurt can make us feel weak, vulnerable, angry, or disappointed, and confronting someone makes us nervous. Instead of seeking reconciliation, we back away. Yet Scripture reminds us of how important it is for us to give and receive forgiveness. Though our attempts to avoid someone who hurt us may provide a temporary fix, they don’t address the pain that remains under the surface.

In the case of my daughter, it helps if I acknowledge her feelings as well as my own. Talking through the pain first helps us to move on to find a resolution. When I openly offer my daughter forgiveness for the hurtful words she’s spoken—asking her if she’d like a hug—she usually burrows her small head into my neck and tells me she’s sorry, unprompted. The apology comes naturally once she realizes that she’s hurt my feelings. As friends, let’s work hard to address the hurt we feel or have caused in others in order to move on to true forgiveness and restored relationships with those around us.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Be honest with a friend about your feelings, then actively work on forgiving them.