Assuming The Best

Assuming the Best

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

“Why wasn’t I invited?” the woman asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

Stunned, my friend paused to formulate her response. The woman had pulled her aside at church to ask about an event my friend was hosting at her house in the coming weeks. As families bustled through the hallway and conversation buzzed all around them, my friend felt caught off guard and bewildered about how to respond.

She quickly explained that no, of course the woman hadn’t done anything wrong. They had invited a smaller group of friends because of space reasons; they simply couldn’t fit more bodies into their home. But later, as my friend and I analyzed the interaction, she wondered, “Why would she have assumed that she had done something wrong? It had nothing to do with her at all. When I see other people together, I don’t assume that it’s a reflection on me but a reflection on them.”

Yet how often do we, as friends, assume things about our friendships? How often do we take up an offense, read something into someone else’s response, or obsess about a conversation we had? How many times do we see a group of friends together on social media and wonder why they didn’t invite us—did we do something wrong? Is our friendship not as strong as we thought it was?

Just last week, my husband saw a photo of a group of our friends at an event, and his instinctive response was to feel hurt. Why hadn’t they invited us? he wondered. Yet when I gently reminded him that they hadn’t excluded us on purpose, he agreed.

As Christians, we’re called to push through our gut-level, human responses. God asks us to dwell on things that are true, lovely, and worthy of praise. In friendship, that may mean that rather than feeling hurt or worried over a friend’s actions, we trust their intentions. We recognize that our feelings aren’t always the best litmus test for what’s true. And we always choose to assume the best.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

The next time you’re scrolling social media and see a group of friends spending time without you, actively choose to quell your hurt and instead assume the best.