What Does It Look Like? - Working Friendships

What Does It Look Like? - Working Friendships

I look forward to being older, when looks become less of an issue and what you are is the point. —Susan Sarandon

FOR OVER TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, my grandmother and eight other silver-haired women gathered at one another’s homes every other Saturday night for an evening of Forty-Two. This domino game is played much like a card game and includes winning bids and tricks. Only an occasional ice storm every three to five years would deter the gathering of the Forty-Two Club.

From my childhood through my teenage years, I was called upon every ninth week to help Mammaw serve finger sandwiches, Fritos and onion dip, Creek Water iced tea, and homemade lemon icebox pie. This role helped hone my hostess skills, but more importantly, it allowed me to observe what it takes to build lasting friendships.

Mammaw and the gals demonstrated that in order for the game of friendship to work, you had to be willing to play both sides of the table. Otherwise the friendship would become superficial and lack the necessary depth. Mammaw and her girlfriends showed me that to have a network that works you must be willing to invest a generous portion of give-and-take.

I think most of us are pretty good at playing the hand in friendship that is all take—where our problems trump everyone else’s and everyone else must fold to placate our moods.

But we all know that all take and no give is not a long-term winning strategy. We might feel better because we won one hand, but what about the game—twenty-five years from now?

So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. (James 2:12)

Do you have a long-term friendship strategy, or are you playing only for today?