What Does It Look Like? - Family Traditions (Part Deux)

What Does It Look Like? - Family Traditions (Part Deux)

I HAVE LEARNED about the deeper meaning of family traditions from my Jewish friends.

By participating in their celebration of the bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah, I realized that many of us fail to use traditions as an important teaching tool to pass on our family’s social values, our sense of family identity, historical understanding of our family heritage, and spiritual values—both personally and historically.

My friends Gary and Linda invited Steve and me to attend their son Alex’s bar mitzvah a few years ago. We were in total awe at the poise and grace this gangly thirteen-year-old demonstrated as he led his congregation through the service, speaking and singing in Hebrew. I didn’t understand a word of what he said, but I sure understood the significance at the end: Alex knew he belonged to something much greater than just Alex. Oh, to teach that critical lesson to all our children!

I visited with Stephen, a friend of mine, a few weeks ago on the topic of his sons’ bar mitzvahs. I wanted to better understand the meaning, commitment, investment, and preparation required behind this religious, cultural, and family tradition. He said, “At the core, we want our children to understand what it means to be Jewish and to recognize their responsibilities to the faith, their rich history, and the culture.” As he shared the story of his younger son’s struggle during his study, his eyes welled with tears of pride when he said, “But his presentation and d’rash [interpretation] were perfect. It made me almost want to have another kid.” Now, when your thirteen-year-old son makes you so proud you want to start over, that’s saying something!

Which led me to ask myself, What family traditions do we have that challenge our children to think, to learn, to lead, and to reflect? What experiences do we share with them to explore our family heritage and the connection to our belief system?

I want Ava to have that same sense of confidence and security in her faith, her family, and her culture that my Jewish friends have passed on to their children. In addition to sharing vacations as an extended family and eating an occasional McMiller with her, I want to invest the time and mental energy to create other family traditions that I hope will help Ava better understand who we are, where we came from, what we believe in, and why. All with the hope that one day she will know that she is connected to something much greater than just herself.

So it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. (Romans 12:5)

So what do I want Ava to see? That without a doubt, she belongs to our tribe.