The Piano Lesson - Hitting the Wrong Notes (Part Deux)

The Piano Lesson - Hitting the Wrong Notes (Part Deux)

SINCE I DIDN’T KNOW the little boy who played with the upside-down music, I never knew what the personal fallout was for him, if any. I know that if I had made such a goof, I would have punished myself for days, weeks, months. Who knows—I might have written about it in a Truth Nugget thirty years later! I’m afraid that the effects of hitting the wrong notes, even when I know I’m forgiven, take a toll on me.

I have committed some big sins—sins I have repented of; sins I have turned away from; and sins I know God has forgiven. Even though Scripture says, “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12), I have a hard time forgiving myself. Memories of the events and the hurt I know I have caused my Lord revisit me from time to time, overwhelming me.

When these times come (usually in the middle of the night when a hormonal surge has awakened me), I have learned to turn my guilt and self-loathing to praise for the One who gives life—both on earth and in eternity. I have come to understand that if I allow it, my past sin will create a chasm between God and me. I swear this is Satan—he always sneaks up on me at night, and those hormonal surges are clearly heat from the devil. He knows when I’m vulnerable and how embarrassed I am that I hit those wrong notes. But I now refuse to give in. I will not shortchange the redemptive powers of Christ.

Guilt is a component of some religions, and while that may work for some folks, it’s no longer helpful to me. If I continued to feel guilty about every wrong note I have hit, I would have thrown in the piano towel by the time I was six! Instead, it comforts me to know that my audience (my God) delights in my performance on earth and forgives me—even when I hit the wrong notes or when my music is upside down.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.” (Titus 3:3-5)

I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll turn my music right side up. Forgiveness. Pure joy.