The Piano Lesson - Finding Middle C (Part Deux)

The Piano Lesson - Finding Middle C (Part Deux)

JUST LIKE ON THE PIANO, circumstances in our lives often lead us into hard-to-reach places. Sometimes we scoot around, trying to make life sound better or feel better than it really is. Rather than stretching and staying close to God when the music turns dissonant, we develop some bad performance habits. We act self-reliant; we become self-absorbed; we attempt to self-medicate; and ultimately we self-loathe. We ask again, Where are you?

On one Thursday evening in 1998, my grief was more than I could handle. My cries turned into haunted wails as the reality of our situation with Scott became evident. He had run away again, but this time was different. Scott wasn’t upset with us because he had been punished for breaking curfew. There had been no heated exchange. As a matter of fact, I thought he was doing great and believed everything was going to be fine. I was convinced that whatever had come over him during the summer had worked its way through his psyche. We were heading into his senior year of high school with anticipation of good things to come. I came home one evening to find a short note. He was gone—with a man he had met on the Internet.

I knew in that instant that all I had hoped for my child was not going to come to fruition. I knew in that instant that my fevered prayers for Scott had not been answered according to my desire. I knew in that instant that I was in a war zone. My life was crashing down. And I was so hurt that my Lord would abandon me. Where had he gone? How could he not hear the pleas of a mother who loves her child so dearly?

Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. (James 4:8)

That night, as I lay on the floor alone in our home (Steve was hosting, solo, an outing for our office members), I found middle C somewhere between the sofa and the TV. That experience proved to be a turning point in my acceptance of God’s sovereign plan. In the dark of night, with not a light on in the house, I took the first step in building an unwavering faith that sustains me today.

To find middle C—to find God again—you will need to head home. He hasn’t moved. He hasn’t abandoned you. He’s just waiting for you to get off the bench so he can play the encore.

Today I can see God clearly in his silence. And it’s pure joy.