Getting A Do-over - I Wouldn’t Flirt With Him

Getting a Do-Over - I Wouldn’t Flirt with Him

SOMETIMES OUR do-overs in life are small; other times they are huge. Just absolutely huge. Girlfriends, this was a really hard do-over for my girlfriend Marilyn* to share with me, and I hope you will read every word of this. And then read it again.

Although we have not known each other for long, Marilyn and I have been friends forever. I think we were born friends; we’re a bit like soul mates. When we first met, she would say something, and I would just immediately think, Me too! And with her, more than anyone else in the world, I laugh. I mean big ole Texas-style belly laughs.

Marilyn works in a profession that few women dare attempt and has reached the pinnacle of her field while raising a family; but there’s no attitude with this gal. Marilyn is the most approachable, easygoing person I know. She has a laugh that just cracks me up, and her eyes . . . girlfriends, they twinkle. Literally. She always looks like she’s up to something. Anyway, I wrote Marilyn and asked her, “So, girlfriend, what’s your do-over?”

A few days later the phone rang; it was Marilyn. She said, “Ellen, I wouldn’t have flirted with him.” I held my breath. I had no idea.

Marilyn had married young, and in the process of working on an advanced degree, managing an extremely demanding workload, and having kids, her marriage became strained. The promise and excitement she and her husband had once enjoyed were replaced by obligations and frustration. There was nothing about her husband she found stimulating; their careers and interests were taking them in two very different directions. And it wasn’t just her; he always seemed aggravated and on edge with everything she did or didn’t do. They just weren’t connecting.

Anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:27)

But there was someone at work who wasn’t frustrated with her, someone she found most enchanting. Their relationship was very professional at first. But she realized after a few months that it had turned into something else—and it wasn’t friendship. Marilyn found herself anticipating the possibility of seeing this coworker in the hall or working with him on a project; she went out of her way to make sure they had “encounters.” She knew she was headed down a slippery slope when she began to flirt.

Girlfriend, this is a do-over that sometimes can’t be undone. Don’t give a foothold to the dark one.

*Marilyn is not her real name, but her eyes do twinkle.