Crossroads - At The Intersection Of Insecurity And Confidence

Crossroads - At the Intersection of Insecurity and Confidence

REMEMBER MY GIRLFRIEND Connie, who sat at the intersection of Resentment and Forgiveness as she hung on to resentment toward her mom? Well, during our lunchtime conversation several weeks back, Connie also told me about the season in her life when she sat paralyzed at the intersection of Insecurity and Confidence. I am happy to share another profound lesson from this very wise woman.

A mother of four, Connie stayed home with her children while her husband built a successful career. Socializing and networking were critical to his advancement, but the circles in which her husband worked included people who were both incredibly creative and highly educated. Connie felt like an outcast around these interesting characters. Because she stayed home with the kiddos, she believed she added little to no value to the conversations. Over time, her confidence plummeted; her sense of self-worth cratered.

Having dropped out of college to have children, Connie’s insecurity ultimately led to jealousy, and her jealousy led to accusations. The accusations led to an ongoing argument with her husband that poisoned the atmosphere of their home and the future of their marriage.

For nearly twenty years, Connie came to this same intersection, always turning onto Insecurity rather than taking a proactive approach to address her issues. But that all changed when she elected to take a part-time job at a community college. Working in the counselors’ office exposed Connie to course work and degree plans, and this new information inspired Connie to return to the classroom. Over a period of ten years, taking one course at a time, Connie earned her bachelor’s degree . . . and found her voice. Her maturity and life experience made her the teacher’s pet and, along with her good grades, gave her a newfound confidence that she did have something important to share with the rest of the world.

On a roll, Connie went on to complete her master’s degree. Attending classes on Saturdays and grinding through evening courses, Connie was an example of grit and determination as she studied side by side with her teenage children. Connie’s self-assurance fueled her and reignited her marriage; she and her husband will celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary this June (oh, they are the cutest couple you’ve ever seen!).

I took my troubles to the LORD;I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer. (Psalm 120:1)

Are you sick of driving around and around Insecurity Circle? Perhaps it’s time to change that one thing that keeps you from being the person you were destined to be. Perhaps it’s time to let go of self-doubt in favor of the pride in accomplishment. Perhaps it’s time to boost the low self-esteem that not only threatens the quality of your life, but the quality of life for those you love.