Sharing Joy, Sharing Sorrow

Sharing Joy, Sharing Sorrow

When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. –Romans 12:15

I pulled up behind my friend Jan in front of the school, and when she got out of her SUV there were tears on her face—tears for me. She felt bad that her tears might make me hurt worse (as if that were possible at the time), but their impact was just the opposite. In those days, it was as if David and I were carrying a heavy load of sorrow, and when she cried, it was as if she were taking a bucket load of sorrow and carrying it for us. It was a relief. Her tears revealed how deeply she shared my sorrow, and they helped me not feel so alone. This is the beauty of having friends who are willing to let us be sad without trying to fix us, people who are willing to simply share our sorrow.

When we are hurting, we like the part of the verse that tells people to “weep with those who weep.” But we think that we’re exempt from the first part, “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15, NKJV). Those of us who are sad find it very difficult to be happy with others when they are happy, to enter into the joys of their lives. It is painful and costly to celebrate the joys and successes of other people when we are weighed down by our own sorrows, losses, and failures—especially when their gain is exactly what we’ve lost. The ugly truth is, while we don’t think their happiness should keep them from sharing our sorrow, we see our sadness as an adequate excuse for refusing to enter into their joy.

Do you think your suffering provides an excuse for you to step back from others, unwilling to feel what they feel, whether it is joy or sorrow? Must your suffering and sorrow continue to be at the forefront of your mind and the determining factor of your give-ability? Have you allowed yourself to become that self-centered? If so, aren’t you ready to break free from it? What a relief, really, to not make everything about you anymore, to no longer have everyone tiptoeing around your feelings and sensitivities. There is something that feels better than sympathy: admiration. When you genuinely share the joy of someone who is happy, someone who is celebrating a joy that has been taken from you, it does not go unnoticed. Others will see and admire you. More important, God will see and applaud you.

Man of Sorrows, Source of joy, it is your Spirit inside me that enables me to share the joys and sorrows of those around me. Let me feel your pleasure in my life as I abandon my excuses and enter into the feelings of others.

DIGGING DEEPER