Making Peace With People

Making Peace With People

Take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong. Try to live in peace with everyone. –Hebrews 12:12-14

A few weeks after Hope died I was walking from one building at our church to another. My timing was bad. As I came out the door, four or five women emerged from the nursery building walking toward me with babies in their arms. I’m not sure who was more alarmed, them or me. I wanted to turn and run, to not have to face them or the awkwardness, but I also knew this was my chance—my chance to set these women at ease with me and my grief.

You see, I figured out early on that on top of being the one to bear the grief, I also bore most of the responsibility for making things okay for the women around me with babies. They felt awkward that they had children in their arms while mine were empty. Now it didn’t seem fair to me that this was up to me, but one thing we’ve figured out by now is that life isn’t fair, right? I realized that I could do what seemed natural—avoid these women and perhaps even resent them—or I could step up to the plate and seek to overcome the hurdle of awkwardness with each one and set us both free to enjoy each other. That Sunday morning I stopped to greet the first woman I came to, smiling and stroking the hair of her daughter, Joy, born eight days before Hope, as all the other women filed by. Then I went to my car and cried.

If you’ve lost something—be it your spouse or your house or your health—everywhere you look, you see people with loving partners, beautiful homes, and healthy bodies. And even though you don’t begrudge them the joy of these things, they are a reminder of what you’ve lost. Let’s face it, we’re human and it’s hard. So you have a choice. You can let everyone walk on eggshells around you. You can wait for them to do or say the right thing (if there is a right thing) that will make it okay with you. You can give in to your fear that things will never be normal with certain people again. Or you can extend yourself and do your part to set things on the pathway toward normalcy and wholeness. You can overcome the awkwardness and live in peace. This is what you want and what God wants for you.

Peace Maker, I’m so tired of avoiding people and feeling awkward around people. I want to knock over the barriers that have built up between me and people around me. Give me the grace and strength to live at peace with everyone.

DIGGING DEEPER