Turning Back To See Who Is There

Turning Back To See Who Is There

O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O LORD, from childhood. Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you! Psalm 71:5-6

I grew up in a churchgoing family in Plantersville, Alabama. From the day I was born, any time the church doors were open, my family was there. But even as a young child, I knew that I didn’t have to go to a special building to be with God. I felt his presence each time I lay on my back in the lush, green grass and watched the puffy marshmallow clouds float by in the silky blue sky.

When I was four and a half, my favorite cartoon show advertised a contest to win a free pony. One night, I dreamed that God wanted me to have that pony, so I talked to my mom, and she helped me mail the entry. A few days later, I found out I had won! Because God had given me this gift, I promised that I would share that pony with all the children who came to visit.

And as I grew older, the coral colors of the sunset and the twinkling stars in the heavens were all the proof I needed that God was real and always with me.

But when I was in high school, my beliefs changed when some close friends of mine and members of their family were brutally murdered in a senseless massacre. It was hard for me to believe that the God of twinkling stars and marshmallow clouds could allow this to happen. So I turned my back on the God of my childhood and ran as far as I could from him.

Professing to be an atheist, I searched for answers about life but only found more questions. When I finally wore myself out, I turned back and surrendered to the God I’d left behind in Plantersville—only to find that he’d been running alongside me all along, even when I didn’t care to admit that he existed. He was patiently waiting for me to run back into his arms. Because of his unwavering faithfulness, I will praise him all the remaining days of my life.

TODAY’S RX

If you are running from God, stop and turn back. He has always cared for you—and he always will.

Father, I confess I turn my back on you all too often, doubting your goodness in my life. Thank you for always chasing after me and welcoming me with open arms.