Healing Words

Healing Words

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Proverbs 12:18

Thirteen-year-old Carly was a good student, excelling in all her classes. Her mother spent her days as Carly’s full-time academic coach, doing everything she could to help her daughter gain entry into an elite university. Though admission to college was still years away, Carly’s mother talked about it so much during her appointment that I became concerned that she wasn’t taking time to just enjoy being Carly’s mom.

During one of Carly’s annual exams, when her mother stepped out of the exam room to take a phone call, Carly looked at me and said, “Can I talk to you while my mom is out of the room?”

“Absolutely,” I said, sitting down next to her.

As my young patient struggled to put her feelings into words, I sensed that something was wrong. After a long silence, Carly blurted, “My mother thinks everything has to be perfect. If it’s not, she snaps at me.”

Once Carly had worked up the courage to speak, the words came tumbling out.

With tears pooling in her eyes, she described how her mother’s controlling behavior and occasional outbursts made Carly feel helpless and out of control. The pressure to live up to her mother’s high standards was immense. I noticed that Carly’s nails were bitten to the quick, and she was slightly underweight for her height.

“Tell me about your weight,” I said.

“I know, I’m so fat,” Carly said. “When I look in the mirror, all I see is a big blob.”

I decided that an intervention was necessary. I referred Carly to a pediatric psychiatrist at Vanderbilt Medical Center who specialized in eating disorders.

Over the next few months, God intervened as well.

Both Carly and her mother began the long process of redemptive healing. They attended counseling separately and together and followed their counselor’s advice. Carly started eating regular meals and worked to have a balanced lifestyle.

Year after year, I followed their progress as the two women became emotionally healthy. Eventually, they celebrated Carly’s admission to an Ivy League school. By her own choice, Carly had surpassed every goal her mother had set for her. She’s now in medical school, studying to become a psychiatrist.

TODAY’S RX

Before you speak, remember the wise words of Bambi’s friend Thumper: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Lord, let my words build others up today, not bring them down. Help me to reflect the kindness of your Spirit and be a source of encouragement and light to them.