Wisdom To Live Life In Control

Wisdom to Live Life in Control

Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice.

Proverbs 12:15 (THE MESSAGE)

I have raised three children through their teen years, and I have three more to go. The hardest part about having teenagers isn’t trying to lead them in the right direction; it’s getting them to follow that leading and listen to your advice. There is a fine balance between helping your children become well-functioning, independent adults and also setting boundaries to keep them safe.

During the teen years Amish youth enjoy a season of Rumspringa in which some of the usual boundaries are lifted. Yet even as the young people “explore the world,” their parents are often there to give advice. And although most youth believe they are the ones in control of their decisions, some of them come to realize that their decisions are taking control of them. If they choose to drink, they are “under the influence.” The same is true of the movies and music they may watch and listen to, which also influence their thoughts and beliefs. And if they choose to be sexually active, their freedom can often turn to confining responsibilities as they enter into an unhealthy relationship or find themselves pregnant out of wedlock. What they initially tried to control soon ends up controlling them.

I like the way one Amish father discussed the issue of cars: “Many people have asked me, ‘Why don’t you have cars?’ I found no one who was unable to understand when I said, ‘We do not feel cars are wrong in themselves. It is the misuse of them that is wrong. How many sixteen-year-olds do you know who own a car? Is it not usually that the car owns them?’”

We don’t have to be teenagers to believe that we can control the world around us—and then fail to do so. While it’s not necessary for us to give up cars or music or other outside influences, one question all of us can ask is, “Is this habit controlling me, or am I controlling it?” And then we can turn to God and to others for wisdom to find the answer.

Dear heavenly Father, open my ears to the wisdom of caring people in my life. And help me to soberly judge the things that I mistakenly believe I’m controlling but are actually controlling me.