The Secret To Child Training

The Secret to Child Training

I have singled [Abraham] out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just.

Genesis 18:19

I’ve been asked before if the Amish have any secrets to raising children. After all, if they can have a large family that lives harmoniously—with children who can sit through a three-hour church service—there must be a magic potion or a secret. My friend Suzanne Woods Fisher says that if we could bottle up one truth about the Amish, it’s this:

Amish children are loved but not adored. The Amish view children very differently than we do. They love and value each child—in many ways, they value marriage and family more than the non-Amish do. They consider each child to be a gift from God. The average family has six or seven children. Ten or more is not unusual! Children with physical or mental handicaps are thought of as “special children.” I’ve heard quite a few Amish parents of handicapped children comment on how much they’ve learned from the gift of this “special child.” . . . Amish parents believe a child belongs to God, not to them. Such a perspective allows parents to raise their children with clear boundaries and a healthy detachment. Hoped for, wanted, loved . . . but not adored. As a result, children are always involved in the life of the family—but it does not revolve around them.

Children are gifts from God, and He has good plans for their lives. Part of the plan is becoming a member of the family as a child, but much more of God’s plan will unfold after a child leaves the home. If we make children the center of our world, they’ll have a huge wake-up call when the world doesn’t do the same. The job of parents is to direct their children and families in the way of the Lord. It’s also to teach their children to do what is right and just and to realize the importance of others above themselves. That’s something we all need to know.

Dear heavenly Father, it’s so easy to make my children and grandchildren the center of my world. Guide me as I guide them, and may the boundaries I set mold them for a bountiful future.