Loving Separation

Loving Separation

You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.

Matthew 7:13

I had a best friend in the sixth grade. We did everything together, until one day she didn’t return my calls. The next day I found all the stuff I’d ever given her dumped onto our front lawn. The hardest part was not knowing what I’d done wrong. The Amish don’t have that problem. When one of them breaks church rules, everyone knows. And when someone refuses to return to obedience, Meidung, or shunning, is often the result.

When church members break church rules, they are asked to confess their errors before the congregation. After confession, the deed is forgotten. But if there is no confession, the offending members are excommunicated. They cannot return to church unless they confess. They also are shunned by the other members:

Shunning is a form of social avoidance. It is an alteration of behavior towards an individual who has willfully violated rules of the church. Shunning may take the form of eating separately, not doing business with a person, not accepting gifts or rides from a shunned individual, and generally excluding a person from community activities. Amish will still converse with an individual in the Bann, and will offer assistance if needed. But for all intents and purposes, that individual, through his own choice, is considered outside the flock.

While the church you attend may not have the same protocol, the Bible does tell us to disassociate with those who claim to be believers but who are living in blatant sin: 1 Corinthians 5:11 says, “I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.”

When we love someone, it’s easy to look past that person’s sins, but God wants us to take sin seriously. The goal is for our friend to see the sin, feel the pain of separation, and return to God—return to the narrow gate.

Dear heavenly Father, sometimes it’s easier to ignore blatant sin than to talk to a friend who is sinning. Give me a willing heart to start the discussion, for the sake of that person’s soul!