What Are You Doing Here?

What Are You Doing Here?

—1 Kings 19:9

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you heard God ask you, “What are you doing here?” Elijah did. And he heard this question in the immediate aftermath of one of his most victorious mountaintop experiences. Even though he was among the mightiest of all God’s men, Elijah was given to spiritual depression. He was living proof of the fallacy that only those who know failure get depressed.

Depression is real. Just ask anyone who has had depression come knocking unwelcome and uninvited at their door. Since we are made up of spirit, soul, and body, sometimes depression is due to physical issues like a chemical imbalance, and this should be treated by a medical doctor. There is also a psychological dimension to some types of depression, and these soul issues should be treated by trained counselors. Then, like Elijah and many others of us, there is a spiritual depression that may lead God to ask us, “What are you doing here?”

After Elijah’s great victory defeating the false prophets on Carmel, we now see him on the run. With the wicked Queen Jezebel (she even sounds mean) wanting him killed, Elijah ran for miles to find refuge, first under a juniper tree in the desert and then in the hidden recesses of a cave. And Elijah’s story is too often our own. Yet it reveals something about the sources, the symptoms, and the solutions to spiritual depression.

SOURCES OF SPIRITUAL DEPRESSION

The same man who faced down 850 false prophets and watched fire fall from heaven quickly forgot God’s responsiveness, faithfulness, and power and fled from a wicked woman. And this kind of forgetfulness is a source of spiritual depression. In fact, one of the most dangerous times in the Christian life is right after a great spiritual victory. Elijah acted as if yesterday’s victories would suffice for today’s commitments. He took his eyes off his God and put them on his enemy, Jezebel. When crisis comes and Jezebel knocks on our door, we—like Elijah—are prone to forget God’s power and blessing.

Another source of spiritual depression is fear. Elijah ran because he was afraid. Fear is not an action; fear is a reaction to circumstances around us. The same is true about faith: it too is a reaction, not to circumstances but to the Word of God. Just the day before, Elijah had not been afraid of 850 false prophets, but the next day he reacted in fear instead of faith.

Fatigue is yet another source of depression. Elijah had spent hours on Mount Carmel expending himself of physical and emotional energy. After God had made His presence known, Elijah traveled from Jezreel to Beersheba, a distance of one hundred miles! He was exhausted. Fatigue keeps us from thinking with clarity, with courage, and with faith.

In addition to being serious enemies of our own spiritual and mental well-being, forgetfulness, fear, and fatigue are also some very real sources of spiritual depression.

SYMPTOMS OF SPIRITUAL DEPRESSION

Sources and symptoms are not at all the same thing, and we need to remember that. After all, we cause ourselves greater problems when we treat the symptoms rather than the sources of our difficulties. In other words, we too often ask, “What?” when we should be asking, “Why?”

One of the sure symptoms of spiritual depression is detachment. Isolation. Withdrawal. These are among the first symptoms of depression. When Elijah went into the wilderness and “sat down under a broom tree” (1 Kings 19:4), he removed himself from others. He detached himself from community. He left those who loved him most and who could have helped him most.

Too often, however, well-meaning people seek to help those in spiritual depression by treating this particular symptom of depression instead of its source. They say to those who become detached, “Get out of bed. Get up and get busy. Do something. Get around other people. Don’t stay in your house all by yourself.” Treating the symptom does nothing to address the source of the depression. Then the issue becomes even more complicated due to treating the symptom and not the source.

Despondency comes on the heels of detachment. Listen to Elijah: “It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” (v. 4). Hopelessness. Despondency. Elijah was losing his will to live. Fear and fatigue clouded his thinking. We do not overcome spiritual depression by merely thinking positive thoughts! We are not depressed because we are despondent; we are despondent because we are depressed! But again, despondency is a symptom of depression, not a source.

Detachment and despondency led to deception, to a self-deception fed by faulty thinking. Elijah moaned, “I alone am left” (v. 10)—but God quickly reminded him that seven thousand other people had not bowed to the world’s false gods. But Elijah was deceived, resulting in another symptom: defensiveness. “I am all you have left,” Elijah responded, so preoccupied with himself in his depression that he only had eyes for his problem. People battling depression tend to be self-consumed, and they can’t help it. Detachment, despondency, deception, defensiveness—these are symptoms of depression, not sources.

SOLUTIONS TO SPIRITUAL DEPRESSION

Interestingly, the first step in overcoming spiritual depression is to address your physical needs. It is significant that Elijah immediately fell asleep. And the first thing the angel that awoke him said was, “Arise and eat” (1 Kings 19:5). Proper diet and healthy eating habits coupled with adequate sleep and exercise are some of the best ways to fight depression and get oneself on the road to healing.

There is also a personal solution. Elijah understood that it was not as much “I alone am left” as it was “I alone am responsible.” And at that point God asked, “What are you doing here?” (v. 9). Good question—and I have often wondered which word God emphasized when He spoke this question. Maybe He asked, “What are you doing here? You of all the people in the world, Elijah? You once had such courage! What are you doing here, in such a state of depression and doubt?” Or perhaps God said, “What are you doing here?” and Elijah responded, “Not doing anything, Lord. Nothing but feeling sorry for myself. I’m just not much use to anyone right now.” Or God could have said, “What are you doing here under this tree? And what are you doing in this cave?” Have you ever been somewhere that you knew God didn’t want you to be? Stop hiding. Face the foe: face your depression. The answer to the question “What are you doing here?” will be intensely personal.

Isn’t it strange that we often have to get under a tree or in a cave before we can hear God speak to us? One lesson of the Christian life is that we seldom learn our spiritual lessons on mountaintops. Those lessons are most frequently learned in the valley experiences of life when God comes to us and asks, “What are you doing here?”

The last time we see Elijah in the Bible, he was on another mountaintop, specifically the Mount of Transfiguration with Christ. No longer running from the Jezebels of the world, Elijah had learned his lesson. He didn’t find God in the “strong wind . . . an earthquake . . . [or] the fire,” but in what Elijah called that “still small voice” (vv. 11–12). And that “still small voice” just might be whispering in your heart right now, “What are you doing here?”

Q & A: “What are you doing here?” None of us is immune to moments, or even bouts, of spiritual depression. When it’s your turn, don’t treat the symptoms; your depression will only get worse. Instead, treat the sources of the depression and rest in the fact that God has the solution. And His solution still comes to us in that “still small voice” spoken to our hearts.