The Asterisk In An Obituary

The Asterisk in an Obituary

She was as cute as a button, the first crush for a generation of boys. But the final three years of her twenty-seven-year battle with multiple sclerosis were a waking nightmare. Once the most recognizable teen on the planet, she was now unable to recognize anyone. She existed in a coma-like state, propped up in an electrically controlled chair, nearly blind, unable to speak or go to the bathroom on her own. In those last three years she was fed through a tube. Her throat had to be cleared several times an hour to prevent her from choking to death.

There was a time when she was a pop culture icon. No one received more fan mail than America’s favorite Mouseketeer. In 1960, a nationwide poll voted her teenager of the year. Dubbed America’s sweetheart, she went on to drive young men crazy in movies like Beach Blanket Bingo and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.

She broke hearts across the land when she married her agent in 1965. Even Linus deadpanned in a Peanuts cartoon strip, “How depressing . . . Annette Funicello has grown up!” After the wedding, she stepped out of the limelight. But no baby boomer could ever forget the darling of The Mickey Mouse Club who became a beach blanket beauty.

Annette began to lose control in her legs when she came out of retirement to do a movie in 1991. A deeply religious woman, she was afraid that people would think she was drunk. So she went public about her MS. America applauded her gutsy battle with this degenerative disease. When she dropped out of sight again, no one knew how much MS was ravaging her. Nor would anyone have recognized her in the end. But her family had a front-row seat to her nightmare. In announcing her death in April of 2013, her children said, “Our mother is now dancing in heaven.”

Within a week of Annette’s passing, Google recorded millions of hits on her life and death. Almost every article contained a single throwaway line: “In 1986, she married her second husband, horse trainer Glen Holt.” Glen was only an asterisk in Annette’s obituary.

Few folks know that Annette Funicello’s first husband was abusive or that this horse trainer gave her refuge when she had nowhere to go. Within a year of their wedding, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Yet during those last years, he bathed her, lifted her on and off the toilet, changed her diapers, and attended to her every need. In the end, America’s sweetheart was ravaged, bloated, and comatose. It’s easy to love the girl of our fantasies, but Glen loved her in dirty diapers and with bloated flesh—not for a while, but for nine thousand straight days.

When asked if it was a burden, he replied, “How can it be when you love somebody?” Maybe you are one of those unsung heroes who is caring for someone. If you’re tired and wondering how long you can hang on, know this:

Anyone can carry a burden to nightfall. Heroes get up and do it again tomorrow.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9, NIV