That Time I Just Couldn’t Shut Up

Karen

Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.

—Proverbs 29:20

Has your mouth ever gotten you in trouble—yes, even made you sin—all because you talked too much? It’s certainly happened to me!

Years ago while visiting with a friend during a high school basketball game, we discussed a budding new relationship between our seventeen-year-olds—her son and my daughter. It was nothing official, but we knew they liked each other.

I rattled on about how my husband and I worked hard to teach our kids to choose whom to date, or even marry, based on more than just their looks. We’d often joke that looks shouldn’t matter since we’re all headed toward ugly anyway.

In trying to express how happy we were that our daughter listened to us and chose someone who was not only good-looking but also displayed godly traits and had a wonderful personality, somehow my friend thought I was saying we were glad our daughter chose based on character because—boy, was her son homely!

It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized I had conveyed the wrong sentiment. I received a message from my friend stating how hurt she was by my backhanded compliment about her son’s character, implying he was unattractive.

I was devastated. I felt misunderstood. And I had a fractured friendship with someone I’d really hoped to get to know better. All because of my words.

Immediately I called to apologize and shared what I meant to say before my rambling thoughts came out as misspoken words—that then led to misunderstanding, conflict, and offense. Thankfully she accepted my apology, and years later, we are still friends!

If we want to avoid offending others—or committing any number of verbal sins—we need to learn to control our words. When we sense a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit that signals a downward spiral, we can simply say, “I’m sorry. I’m talking too much.”

In order not to speak in haste, as cautioned against in today’s verse, we need to pause. To ponder. To shoot up a quick prayer asking God to help us choose which words, if any, to speak. Giving thoughts time to settle and soak in Scripture is a wonderful habit that will keep us from answering too soon and looking foolish.

So pause. Think before you answer, and don’t speak your words in haste and risk fracturing a relationship.

Father, I want to reflect Your love and grace each time I open my mouth to speak. Help me slow my tongue before I say something hurtful that can have lasting consequences. And when I fall short, help me be quick to seek forgiveness and reconciliation. In Jesus’ name, amen.

How would you rate yourself on a scale from one to ten when it comes to speaking in haste? If one means you always carefully weigh your words and ten means you speak quickly before thinking, what number would you choose? Now, what can you tell yourself as you are conversing with others that will help you lower that number?