Is God At Work In My Life?

Ruth

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

—Psalm 139:9–10

Our world was turned upside down not too long ago. After a series of tests, doctors finally diagnosed my husband with a type of blood cancer. As we wrestled with the initial news, my mind darted in a million different directions. Every emotion exploded inside me. I felt fear, insecurity, and even anger.

God, what are You doing? I said to myself. This happens to other people. Not me. And yet, as much as I resisted, my husband and I were instantly thrust into a new season of life, a different kind of journey than we ever imagined or wanted. This was our life. Whether I liked it or not, I was forced to answer the question, “Is God really at work in this?”

When life is not going the way I want it to, it’s easy for me to get angry. I can begin to make moral judgments about how life should and shouldn’t work. In essence, I am saying I can better plan my life than God can! I can be tempted to think God is indifferent, absent, or cruel. So anger can often reveal when my heart is not trusting, waiting, and believing in God’s power to accomplish what He wants to in, and through, my life.

Through my husband’s cancer diagnosis, I am learning to trust God in new ways. As my heart gets exposed, my faith is expanding. Even in the midst of trials, I am learning that God really is at work in my life. When I am tempted to be angry or resentful, God reminds me that He is good, His purposes never fail, and like today’s verse says, His hand will guide me (Psalm 139:10).

What are you going through right now? Are you tempted to doubt God’s goodness or activity in your life? Is your anger revealing a heart that doubts God’s presence and purpose? I pray that God would give you wisdom and faith to walk with Him, leaning on Him even in the storms.

Father, I trust You. I know You are good and faithful. I surrender my plans to You, knowing that Your purposes never fail. Give me faith to trust You and obey You even when I don’t understand what is going on. I believe You are with me and for me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

How has doubting God’s presence led to your becoming angry?

In what area of your life are you most tempted to doubt God’s work?