Decisions, Decisions

Karen

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

—John 15:12–13

I have a confession. I love to get my way. Oh, I go about it rather cryptically, appearing to just be logical or thoughtful, but really, deep down inside, I know what I want. And usually I know just how to get it.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I love going to a coffeehouse. I can step up to the counter and rattle off to the barista my high-maintenance order, and my coffee turns out just as I want it.

While getting my way works at the coffeehouse, sometimes with the people closest to me, it gets in the way of my relationships.

From matters as small as what brand of ketchup to buy to huge decisions such as purchasing a house, I am very vocal and equally convincing about getting my way. And my large-and-in-charge bossy ways can cause conflict and friction with others.

This dilemma really isn’t new. Our ancestor Eve exhibited this behavior back in the garden of Eden when she decided she knew better than God. She ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which God commanded her not to eat. Humankind’s relationship with God experienced its first conflict, and sin entered the world.

To try to get our way, we might employ various tactics: reasoning, arguing, pleading, or even pouting—anything to secure the outcome we desire. But one day when reading today’s passage, I gained a fresh insight into this familiar scripture.

I used to think of these verses in terms of the dramatic ways people might lay down their lives, like putting oneself in harm’s way to save a friend from a deadly injury. Or a soldier might willingly give up his or her life on the battlefield. While these are certainly true and noble, I have come to think of this passage in more practical ways.

What if we gave up our quest to get our own way in everyday life? What if we stopped needing to be the one in our relationships who insists on all decisions going our way? This action of laying aside our desires for another’s certainly is a way to show love.

It hasn’t been easy, but viewing these verses as encouragement to stop trying to get my own way and let others decide has been so freeing! I have learned that others have good ideas and allowing someone else to choose helps me become less selfish. Yes, laying down our lives in even the smallest ways shows love for others and reverence for Christ. And it helps us decision-loving gals learn to let go and let others have a say. They might even thank us by buying us our favorite high-maintenance drink!

Father, forgive me for the times when I try to get my own way without listening to others or letting them in on the decision-making process. I want to learn to lay down my life—in ways both big and small. Help me be more like Your Son. In Jesus’ name, amen.

In what areas of life do you like to get your way? In what ways could you show love to others by laying down your desires?