The Value Of Truth-telling

Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.

—Proverbs 28:23

God can do extraordinary things through friendships that have an equal measure of heat and force, of trust and truth, but most people lean more to one side or more to the other.

Correcting someone, even though it’s hard, will gain more favor over time than flattering someone. When there are people in your life who won’t ever correct or challenge, who insist that you’re perfect just the way you are, that doesn’t feel right, does it? If there’s no truth, over time, there’s no trust. If someone doesn’t protect you, doesn’t want you to change or get better, doesn’t love you enough to overcome the awkwardness of truth-telling, all that love-y, safe, warm trust doesn’t feel safe anymore.

The most significant growth in my life in the last few years has come because someone I love told me the truth just when I needed to hear it. Sometimes that truth was encouraging—I’d been going down a dark and self-critical path and they reminded me of God’s love for me. And sometimes it’s been truth that challenges—when someone looks you in the eye and says, Because I love you, I want to tell you this, even if it’s a little hard to hear.