The Closer You Get

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’ ”

—1 Samuel 20:42

I didn’t always know how to open myself deeply. Moving to Grand Rapids, a town that was tricky for me for all sorts of reasons, the fear and the loneliness snapped my heart shut like a drum. Then Annette and Andrew moved across the country and into our neighborhood and day by day, phone call by phone call, breakfast by breakfast, Annette taught me that the closer you get, the closer you get. When you allow someone past all the doors you were taught to keep closed, what you find is a kind of friendship I didn’t even have a category for. I’ve spent most of my life holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.

And every time I told Annette the truth, or asked for something difficult, or opened a scary conversation, when I thought she would back away, she walked forward. And by walking forward, she changed me, and now, everywhere I go, everywhere life takes me, I’ll be looking for this, for this kind of friendship that my dear friend Annette taught me.