Nothing Left To Lose

The Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

—2 Timothy 1:7

About two months after I left my job, I spoke at a conference. My bio in the program had been printed when I was still working at the church, and now I felt like a liar, like I had no right to speak at this conference anymore. I was unemployed and pregnant and I was going to have to stand up in front of almost a thousand people, and I had nothing to say to them.

I walked out onto the stage and said, “I’m going to tell you right now that you are not going to like what I have to say. But I’m pregnant, which means I’m as big as a house, I eat like a linebacker, and I throw up in public. At this point, I have nothing left to lose. So I’m just going to tell you what I think.”

I had spent almost a decade creating services in churches, and I told the truth as I see it about that work, about its value and its challenges. It wasn’t clever or polished. There were no slides or video clips or touching anecdotes, but it was the best talk I had ever given.