Iron Sharpens Iron

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

—Proverbs 27:17

What makes iron sharp—what shapes it—are two things: heat and force. You start with heat, because heat is what makes metal malleable. Force is what moves it once you’ve added the heat. The two work together.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. God uses the people in our lives to tell us the truth about ourselves, to shape us, and to help us be more like Christ. For a friendship to be a transforming friendship, you need the same things as when you’re working with metal. Heat and force.

The heat is trust: the sense of being known, accepted, and loved. It’s that feeling of warmth when someone knows your story, your family, your strengths and weaknesses, when you know they love you no matter what. Heat is a sense of togetherness, of grace and safety.

And force is truth. It’s when someone who cares about you takes the time and the risk to say something difficult, to push you to be better, to call out more from you. Heat is trust and force is truth, and transformation through friendship doesn’t happen without both of those things being present.