Just Listen

The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

“Abby really appreciated your support last week,” Kate said as we walked into church.

I recalled my last conversation with Abby. Several of us had been having lunch when she shared about the conflict with her ex-husband that was taking the fun out of her daughter’s wedding plans.

“I don’t remember saying anything profound.” All I had done was listen and assure Abby that I would be upset in her situation too.

“Nobody else but you noticed how upset she was. Abby told me that having you there, so sweet and sympathetic, kept her from bursting into tears.”

At the time I was new in town and too shy to do anything but listen. This was one of my most powerful lessons in the impact of listening without judging, making light of the situation, or giving unsolicited advice. More than a decade later, I found myself listening to another friend as she unloaded an overwhelming difficulty in her life. Instead of wishing I had more to offer, I thanked God for the privilege of quietly sharing her burden.

“Thank you for being a safe friend,” she said as we hugged good-bye.

I prayed that I would continue to be, both for her and for others.

Whom do you call when you need to talk? Do you run to the friend who responded to your last crisis by telling you to toughen up and trust God, or the gentle sister who sat at your side as you poured out your heart? Friends who reflect Christ’s spirit of gentleness provide a safe haven for honesty and raw emotion, reminding us why Scripture calls us to be kind rather than harsh or cold. Memories of friends who took our late-night phone calls, shared our tears, and set their opinions aside and let us unload show us how to respond when someone else needs support.

Rest Assured

Lord, I want to be a friend that others know they can call on in a crisis or share their hearts with. Show me what I need to change in order to be a safe friend.

Rest in Him: Galatians 5:22-23