Unoffendable

Unoffendable

An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

“I’M UNOFFENDABLE.”

Even as those words crossed my lips, I was desperately wishing I could rewind three seconds and say something, anything else.

God has a tendency to use whatever I declare in strident, self-assured tones to refine me, and it turns out that I am quite easily offended, much to my dismay. I’ve repented of my offense more times than I care to admit over this past year, and because offense is something I’m actively working on, I’ve noticed our culture is similarly vexed with this particular vice. Outrage equals attention, and offended outrage seems to be our specialty. We pay attention to those who are the most offended and will scream it loudest on cable news, late night talk shows, and social media for all to hear. We adopt their offense and pass it on.

It’s true that offended people are like a fortified city—withdrawn and impenetrable. This is no way to live. Offense taking and grudge holding are not the way of Jesus. Mercy, grace, and redemption are his themes, and there is no room for those things in the midst of offense. And, worse yet, clinging to offended unforgiveness toward others will result in our own sins not being washed clean.

How then do we live unoffendable lives? When in doubt, we assume the best of another’s intentions. We remember that we are not the center of the universe and presume “it” (whatever situation you are tempted to take offense over) is not about us, unless we are specifically told otherwise. We pause to consider what else is happening in that person’s circumstance that might be impacting her behavior. We practice listening to hear rather than listening to respond. And, when we are hurt, we turn to Jesus first, asking him to keep our hearts tender and compassionate rather than turning into a fortified city.

Lord, may we be women who assume the best, listen to hear, stay tender, and take our hurts to you, the Great Physician. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Track the number of times you are invited to take offense on social media, by the news, or by others today. Practice taking a deep breath and saying, “No thank you, in Jesus’ name” as you reject the invitation.