Tranquility

Tranquility

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

I LEFT THE PRACTICE OF LAW after fifteen years of clients, courtrooms, and conference rooms. Aaron and I each had intense careers, and as our children grew, we were being tugged in increasingly divergent directions. There were not enough hours in the day for me to be the attorney I wanted to be, the wife I needed to be, and the mom I longed to be.

We budgeted for life on one income a year in advance, reducing expenses and making plans, and then, one day, God told me it was time to be done. I wish I could tell you that it was a smooth ride, with no regrets, no tears, no questions about what might come next. But I found myself plunged into grief, despite knowing it was the right decision for our family. I struggled with identity and with feelings of failure for having stepped away from the American dream, the feminist goal, the calling of an independent woman.

As months passed and a new normal settled in, my grief lifted, and I found tranquility. Now, instead of competing with Aaron over early mornings and late nights at the office, I’m usually able to support whatever he needs. We rarely struggle to juggle school pick up times, practice schedules, or various appointments. And while I fully admit that I am no Domestic Goddess, I put every one of my mediation and courtroom skills to good use navigating the emotional roller coaster of tweenagers, ferreting out trouble before it sets roots and grows.

By releasing what I’d toiled and strived for my entire life (well, since becoming doggedly determined to be a lawyer in sixth grade), our marriage has found a bit of margin and peace, tranquility in a world telling us we must run the rat race as hard and as fast as possible.

Our house is older. Our cars are not new. We cannot keep up with the Joneses, but we don’t mind. If two handfuls require us to chase after the wind, we will always choose tranquility and just one.

Lord, show us where we might choose tranquility over toil and chasing. Show us where we might find that one handful is more than enough. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Intentionally begin living with one handful instead of two in an area of your life that has been causing stress. Watch what God can do with less.