Self-control

Self-control

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

IT WAS AFTER a minor mother-daughter tussle that I found myself sitting in Grandpa Dan’s fish house down by the lake. Lizzie has adopted the little shack, serving as a bunkhouse during the summer, as her own personal quiet spot when we visit the lake. Angry, she’d retreated there, and after waiting a few minutes for us both to reflect, I’d followed.

Having hashed out the “why” for the angry words, our conversation turned to the “how” of the argument, and the art of self-control. We’re practicing what it means to fight fairly—to handle anger, disappointments, and misunderstandings in ways that resolve the conflict without giving our tongue free rein in our anger, leaving the other side eviscerated, emotionally raw, and wounded by attacks on their personhood.

Our differences resolved and peace restored, our conversation turned to self-control, and how important (but hard) self-control is when our blood is boiling and we are really angry.

“But, Mom, I see lots of Christians who don’t practice self-control when they are mad, especially online. Sometimes, they are the meanest ones.”

After a long beat of silence, I agreed. Her accusation is true. Sometimes, we are the ones with no self-control, spitting vitriol and poison at people we disagree with, people we momentarily forget are among those whom God loves, and for whom Jesus died.

As followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher standard. We are called to practice self-control, waging it over our bodies, our thoughts, and our wayward tongues. God does not tell us to practice self-control as long as the other side does too. No. God tells us to practice self-control without regard for what the other side does or does not do. The world is watching, and our lack of self-control damages his witness.

Lord, help us be women who control our tongues, our thoughts, our bodies. May we always remember that we are a dim reflection of you, and others are watching. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Practice self-control over your tongue. When you are in a disagreement, keep to the topic at hand without name-calling or character smearing.