Refuge

Refuge

You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.

“WHAT CAN I DO but take refuge in God? How else do I handle the hurt?” she asked as she finished the story. My friend’s pain was palpable. Her vulnerably shared thoughts in a video chat message to two girlfriends had been met with silence. As the days stretched and other conversations on other mediums continued with no mention of what she shared, she agonized. Did she misread the social cues? Was her vulnerability shared inappropriately? Were they uncomfortable and hoping to simply allow the issue to go away?

She felt exposed, raw, and foolish. Hurt, anger, and frustration threatened to swamp her even as she looked for reasonable justifications for their silence: maybe they hadn’t had time to watch the string of video messages, maybe they weren’t sure how to respond and were struggling, maybe they had temporarily forgotten in the chaos of young families and Mom Brain. Maybe, maybe, maybe—her thoughts swirled through all of the possibilities as she tried to find a path forward.

What do we do when good-hearted people let us down? How do we respond when our friend unintentionally hurts our feelings? Do we succumb to the voice in our head spinning the worst-case scenarios, assigning bad intent and hurtful motives behind silence or forgetfulness? Do we stuff the hurt down, pretending like it never happened and just move on?

While some situations might call for gentle confrontation while others call for allowing the hurt to pass without comment, we can always turn to God both for solace and wisdom. Being in relationships means we will be let down, disappointed, and hurt on occasion. Our loved ones fail us, even unintentionally, from time to time. But God never does. He is a safe place, always. He provides refuge in the midst of hurt. His wisdom revealed in Scripture helps us see the situation with a broader perspective and allows us to navigate with grace, knowing when to speak up and when to simply let something pass. He brings us hope and peace.

Lord, thank you for providing us a safe place when we are hurting. Give us wisdom as we navigate relationships with those around us—especially the hard ones. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Practice finding refuge in God, taking your hurts to him in out loud prayer or in a prayer journal. Memorize a favorite verse about God as our shelter, perhaps Psalm 18:2 or Psalm 119:114.