Reconcile

Reconcile

Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

I TOSSED AND TURNED, unable to sleep as I repeatedly replayed my words, trying to determine whether I had offended her and to what extent, despite it being entirely unintentional. Staring wide-eyed at my ceiling, I prayed for wisdom, finally deciding to email an apology the next morning in an attempt to set things right, determined not to spend another night sleepless with regret.

As we gathered on a conference call later that afternoon, I followed my morning email with a quick verbal apology—understanding that my intent, even when it is good, doesn’t prevent another’s hurt.

“Oh, Julie. We’re just fine. Today has been so busy that I didn’t get a chance to respond to your email. I was not offended or upset, but I appreciate the apology nonetheless.”

Exhaling a sigh of relief, I replied, “Well, my words were spoken carelessly, and I wanted to address it directly rather than pretend it didn’t happen. I never want to cause you hurt, even unintentionally.”

With the air cleared, we moved on through the meeting’s agenda. Reconciliation brings me such a sense of relief as the tension—imagined or real—eases that I have become far more willing to face the hard moments of conflict necessary in order to arrive at peace. That has not always been the case, and I’ve let far too many situations slide past possible reconciliation into that awkward place of unspoken conflict avoidance than I’d care to admit.

For some of us it is hard to embrace conflict, talking honestly about hurts or frustrations, seeking reconciliation as we work through a misunderstanding or disagreement, especially when we caused, even unintentionally, the hurt. Reconciliation is countercultural in that it requires us to lay down our pride and listen carefully to someone else’s perspective, prayerfully consider what role we played in the conflict, be accountable, and apologize when necessary rather than let things linger, unresolved.

But we are commanded to reconcile with others before we seek reconciliation with God, precisely because he knows the immense power in a unified church, in believers who know how to humble themselves in apology and stay in community with one another.

Lord, who do we need to reconcile with? Help us to practice the art of humble apology. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Practice being quick to apologize, refusing to allow the sun to set without resolving conflicts whenever possible.