Pursue

Pursue

Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

AS A NEWLYWED, I loved my husband but was less than thrilled with his decor. Although a leather couch fit perfectly in our home, I was not enthusiastic about numerous artificial plants. Though we had joined our lives together, I struggled to cobble together our belongings. The most egregious item—in my opinion—was a faux marble bath set. The cup was chipped, and the soap dish had seen better days. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but they were ugly.

At the time, Tim would leave for work on Sunday evening and return Thursday night. So on Monday mornings, I’d stash the bath set underneath the sink—out of sight, out of mind. When he returned home later in the week, he’d notice the missing set and good-humoredly replace it on the countertop. It would remain until the following Monday, when I would put it away again.

The cycle continued until I realized my not-so-subtle approach wasn’t working. Moreover, the situation was symptomatic of the communication skills I lacked. When I was growing up, my parents had resolved to never fight in front of us, which was well-intentioned but had an unintentional consequence: I didn’t know how to fight fair. I didn’t know how to fight at all. Instead, I avoided conflict entirely, something much more problematic than a little ugly decor.

The Bible provides guidance on how to deal with conflict: to watch our tongue, be slow to anger, speak the truth in love. More importantly, it tells us to pursue peace. In doing so, we actively seek to accomplish the goal of mutual harmony. Peace doesn’t mean avoiding conflict. Instead, pursuing peace asks us to lay down our smaller, individual preferences in order to prioritize the larger, mutual goal. In this way, both parties are honored. This results in a “mutual upbuilding” in which a family, a friendship, or a church body is constructed on the foundation of Christ, our cornerstone.

My husband couldn’t have cared less whether we kept the bath set. He just wanted to see how long it would take me to talk to him. When I finally did, we discarded it. It’s a lesson I’ve never forgotten.

Lord, help us to pursue peace with others, resolving conflict in healthy ways. Amen.

-Kristin

One Good Step: In what ways are you actively pursuing peace in your life? What is one thing you can do today to pursue peace for yourself?