Observe

Observe

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.

EVEN AS I STOMPED AWAY, my angry words lingering in the air, I wondered why such a small thing had evoked such an oversize reaction. Mom didn’t deserve that. She isn’t who I’m mad at. Why are my emotions out of control? Why did I do that? What’s wrong with me?

I can still remember the confusion, tension, and general angst that would sometimes overwhelm my teenage self, resulting in an outburst over something trivial and pointless. My mom bore the brunt of my raging hormones because I knew she was safe. She remained calm in the midst of my storms, was unwavering in her love, and firm in her boundaries. She would pause to observe the situation before she reacted, knowing when to push back and when to simply wrap me in a loving hug as I melted into a puddle of tears.

My mom has a gift for seeing through the facade to the heart of a situation or person, responding with calm compassion to the root cause instead of engaging the swirl of hot emotions. It’s a trait I work to emulate, because it dissolves unnecessary potential conflict and shows the other person that I see them and not simply the issue they are presenting.

Taking a moment to observe the entirety of the situation, considering root causes and what lies unspoken in the face of someone’s emotional tempest, is not for the faint of heart. Our natural instinct is to get defensive, fighting back rather than taking a breath and considering what else might be happening. But observing is the wiser choice, asking God to reveal how we can defuse the emotion so we address the underlying issue in the moments before we engage.

Heavenly Father, give us eyes to see and ears to hear past facades and camouflage to the heart of the matter. May we be observant as we encounter those you love. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Practice taking a deep breath and a long pause before you respond to someone’s angry words or actions. As you pause, ask God to show you what else might be going on.