Loyal

Loyal

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

“HANNAH NEEDS SOMEONE unconditionally and unapologetically in her corner right now, and that’s me.” I paused to take a deep breath. “Sorry, that was perhaps too blunt. Let me try again. I realize Hannah isn’t perfect and she has a part to play in all of this, but in this moment, she desperately needs a person to stand with her. She needs loyalty in the midst of betrayal. I’m that person. I chose Hannah. Steph has plenty of people siding with her.”

“Hannah is blessed to have you as a friend. And I agree, right now she needs loyalty.” Pam stepped around a small pothole and then lengthened her stride to catch back up to my slightly faster pace down the wooded path. “Business breakups are hard enough, but adding a destroyed friendship into that volatile mix can be an enormous betrayal, especially the way Steph handled it. For what it’s worth, I think you are making the right choice.”

“I don’t know if it’s right or not, but I love Hannah like a sister. And in this moment, I feel like she needs unwavering loyalty.”

Loyalty, like love, does not require blindly supporting someone, staunchly denying their role in a hard situation. In fact, real love—of family, friends, or spouse—includes an understanding of someone’s shortcomings and loving them anyway. We love the whole person. Our loyalty is the same—we are loyal to the whole person.

Friendship sometimes requires us to be the gentle voice of accountability, a person who helps serve as a bridge, a mediator, a mender of rifts. And sometimes friendship means we stand firmly and unwaveringly in our friend’s corner, loyal and wholly on her side, fierce in her defense. It can be tricky to know which role to take—gentle peacemaker or staunch defender—but there is a time and a place for each.

Lord, give us the wisdom to know when you are calling us to be loyal and when you are calling us to hold our friends gently accountable. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Think of a time you needed loyalty from a friend and a time you needed a friend to hold you accountable. What was similar and different in those situations? Are you seeing a similar need for gentle accountability or staunch defender in your own friendships?