Keep

Keep

A time to keep, and a time to cast away.

MY SISTER KATRINA died at the end of October, the day after her son turned four. She practically breathed creativity, and hospitality was innate to who she was. She was the kind of person who threw a party when she moved into the neighborhood rather than waiting for someone else to do it; the kind of person who baked cookies with her daughter while wearing matching aprons. Holidays, then, were very much something she enjoyed.

When she died, the idea of celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas the way we always had while grieving such a great loss seemed untenable. As we moved from burnished leaves to frozen ponds, those once-cherished holiday traditions—usually anticipated—suddenly felt hollow. Once-joyful tasks like baking and gift giving now felt heavy, weighed down with sorrow and remembrance. As the holidays approached, none of us seemed all that certain about keeping traditions that only made us remember what we’d lost.

So our family did something new: we rented a house for a few days in December, all together. We looked out over the icy, snow-crusted lake, curled up by the warmth of the fire, and simply spent time together. And though the ache of missing Katrina still clung heavily to us, there was a comfort in doing something new together. We decided to keep our time together while forging a new tradition.

Whether it’s within the holiday season or outside of it, grieving or not, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate the things we keep doing simply because that’s the way we’ve always done it. Love a holiday cookie exchange? Keep it. Loathe cooking? Get takeout. Feel obligated to travel but don’t enjoy it? Host a gathering at your house instead. Our lives are made up of seasons of growth and change, but sometimes we get stuck in patterns—keeping a tradition, even though it no longer serves us—and forget to reevaluate.

What do you need to keep or let go of? I’m reminded of Mary and Martha: Martha, industriously cooking and cleaning while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus (see Luke 10:38-42). Martha did what was expected of a gracious host. But Mary did what she longed to do. Like Mary, let’s keep what nurtures our souls. Let’s keep what matters most—loving God and loving others—and hold loosely to the rest.

Lord, help us to keep what matters and rethink the rest. Amen.

-Kristin

One Good Step: Reevaluate your habits and traditions. What do you want to keep? What might you choose to do differently?